1. I'm not sure exactly how, when or why but I suddenly feel a lot more at peace with my hausfrau life than I have in years. Which probably means it's all about to change, and now that I don't really want a Real Job, I'll get one. Or does career not work in the same way as love?
2. That said, I'm not entirely at peace with the Real(ish) Job I do have. I've gotten in the groove, yes, the actual work is going more smoothly and I don't feel grumpy about having to do it. But. There is no longer any time at all for things like gym, or Duolingo, and the only time I have for designing is 5am. Right now I'm behind on everything and exhausted. This isn't sustainable. And I'm still applying for work that is more in my line, because it would be stupid not to, but when exactly am I supposed to do that work?
3. The logical response to all this is to stop doing anything non-essential, ie designing. But that's... well. That leaves only non-fun things in my life. That doesn't seem like the answer.
4. The other logical response is to book more childcare hours. But I think little Pumuckl is close to his limit already, and then there's the cost factor, which could so easily consume all my profits…
5. Or I could just ride it out till August, when he starts kindergarten, and I get a bit more than double my current childfree hours. Which will be great. Not enough, but great. It's just. August is so far.